Should you be friends first before you start dating
When he showed up in Indiana the last time, I was terrified to try and date ANYBODY for real.
But it quickly felt natural and right after all that talking and sharing.
Having personally experienced both the positives and the negatives of dating a friend, I’ll say this: there are few things more precious than a friendship that becomes more than a friendship, but there are also few things more painful than losing a romantic relationship and a friendship simultaneously. To commemorate the end of Friendship Month at Man Repeller, I interviewed five couples who braved the stakes and went from “friends” to “more than friends.” Below, their thoughts on what that leap was like.Ashley: The second time around, after he’d lived in Seattle, he just showed up on my doorstep and kissed me. Also, it really doesn’t say much for platonic friendship if you can only be friends with people you aren’t attracted to.Kelly: The person I want to hang out with most is right next to me when I wake up.Be prepared for it not to go your way and that being just friends with this person is probably a whole lot better than not knowing them anymore.Ashley: Take your time with the feeling, and prepare yourself to be extremely vulnerable. Try to know if you can live with that, and if you can’t, be honest about it. He was always the standard against which I measured other men, and we dated a bit when we were younger. I was struck by this visceral sensation, like ‘This is The Point.
When we broke up nine months later, all the usual post-breakup awkwardness and bitterness were multiplied tenfold by the fact that we were forced to hang out whenever our families got together, which was often.